Christmas, Possibly to Come

Dazza woke to find the ghostly figure standing at the end of his bed.

“Who are you and what the hell are you doing here?” Dazza demanded.

The figure sat on the side of the bed.  “I’m the ghost of Christmas, Possibly to Come.”

“Right, right, I get it.  I’ve read the book.  Three of you are going to visit to tell me why I should change my ways.”

“Nah, mate. First you didn’t read the book. You watched that Bill Murray movie Scrooged, and second you’re a special case.”

“Special case?”

“Yeah.  Special cases are the ones we know aren’t going to change, so instead of doing the whole triple-haunting, we draw straws and the loser comes to hang out with you for a while.  No point in putting our best work into one we don’t have a chance of winning.”

“Fair enough. So what do we do now?””

“We just hang out for about an hour, so I can say I gave it a go.”

“Righto.” Dazza sat up, and opened a drawer in his bedside table.  He took a pinch of powder out of a bag in the draw and laid it out on his finger, then inhaled it.  “You want a hit?” he asked.

“Nah. Wouldn’t work on me.  Ghost; no brain cells to fry.”

“So, you can walk through walls and stuff like that?”

“Yeah.  It’s really cool at first, then it’s just everyday stuff, you know.”

“Could be useful in my line of work.”

“But I’m incorporeal.  I can walk through walls, but once I’m inside, I can’t do anything much.  You need to be able to touch things, and people.”

“I guess I wouldn’t get paid much for scaring targets.  Unless I could scare them to death.”

“Only thing that makes you scary is that you kill people.  If you couldn’t do that, you really wouldn’t be all that scary.  You’d be just as pathetic as me.”

“I get that.  So if you did the whole drama, what would you have showed me?”

“Well, if you keep going at your current job, you’d be rich but have no friends and die alone.”

“And if I didn’t?”

“If you quit your job, did something normal instead, you’d get married, have kids, blah, blah blah.”

“But I wouldn’t be rich?”

“You wouldn’t be as rich.”

“I can see why you didn’t bring your A-game.”

“I know, right.”

“You know you look weirdly familiar.”
“Really?”

“Could you be someone I might have been hired to ah, kill?”

“Come to think of it, yeah.”

“No hard feelings, mate.  Just business.”

“Oh I’m not sure, but I think…. Yes I think I do have hard feelings.  I didn’t want to die, and I really didn’t want this gig.”

“So what are you going to do about it.  You said it yourself.  You’re incorporeal. You can’t touch me.”

“Dazza, Dazza, Dazza, you really should have read the book.  I’m a Christmas ghost.  I can make you see things.”

Dazza’s bedroom suddenly disappeared.  He seemed to be in a very dark place.  He couldn’t see anything but darkness, so deep it seemed physical.

“Very clever,” Dazza said. “So you can make me think I’m alone in the dark.  How long do you plan to play this stupid little game then?”

“I think forever,” the ghost respond.  “Forever works for me.  Does forever work for you? Don’t bother answering. I can see how much you’re enjoying yourself. Yeah, I think we’ll make this forever.”


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